The surface of the small puddle of water rippled and a quarter of an inch high tsunami raced to its edges. A deep resonance barely touched the soles of my shoes, sent vibrations up my shin. It was a clear day, not a speck of cloud on the horizon, and people came out to feel the sun on their faces, hands brought over squinting eyes as shields. Those dressed heavier now shed the extra layers. Perfection. Except the fact it was December and a blizzard was raging five minutes ago.
Stacey looked up, thin perspiration coating her forehead. She pointed to a dark and shifting mass on the sky. “What’s wrong with the birds?”
I was talking to a friend the other day about how tired (okay, exhausted really) I was feeling and how stressed I was after I finished drafting my last book, and she said that I was crazy the way I forced myself to finish it. Her words reminded me of one of Orwell’s quotes (“Writing a book is a horrible, exhausting struggle, like a long bout with some painful illness. One would never undertake such a thing if one were not driven on by some demon whom one can neither resist nor understand”). How true this master of the craft was!
And yet, the satisfaction I got after typing The End (which once again I forgot to write immediately after I finished. I realised I finished another book a day later) was beyond anything I had experienced up to that moment. And no, I wouldn’t change it for the world.
Still, it made me think of how non writers view me and probably others like me, when I explain to people what the process is, what it entails, what it takes, how long it takes, the amount of commitment. Crazy, is probably the right way to describe me. So, here’s an article (leaning on the funny side of things) of other reasons a non writer might consider us crazy.
Well, it’s finished. For the second time in my life, I typed these words on a work longer than a couple of thousand words. My second novel (the first draft at least) is complete. It’s in bad shape (quality always suffers when in dire need of speed), and will need more work than I was originally hoping for, but if it’s on paper (or the computerised version MS Word provides) it can be fixed, revised, and edited. For the next six to eight weeks, I will forget Through Stranger Eyes ever existed, something quite hard since I keep getting ideas or end up scribbling things I need to improve once I start working on it again. But, I made it.
This past week, I’ve been tinkering my query letters (yes, now I have three different versions of a query letter, because, you know, having to choose the best out of two is easy. Why don’t we up the ante and come up with a third? Yay… NOT!) and my synopsis. The list with the potential agents is ready, I’ve separated them into manageable groups of 3-4 agents each, and I’m ready to send out my first batch of queries to the first group and see what indirect information I can extract from their responses (or no response).
I’ll take it easy for the next few months, probably until September, and my posts here will reflect that. One reason is I’m really exhausted. I never thought I would manage to write 3.5k words per day, every day, but I did. It took its toll though. At the moment, I don’t want to look at another Word Document, I don’t want to be anywhere near a keyboard. Expect the content to be a mixture of helpful advice (reblogged) I’ve found on Pinterest and other sites, along with some original material of my own.
Keep writing folks, and take it easy. If you need to ask me anything or talk to me over summer, feel free to comment here, or use the contact form on this blog, or tweet me.
I hate my inner critic. I really, REALLY hate him. I’ve managed to reach the point where I only have 3 – 4 more chapters to write after which I will be happily able to say “I finished it! I finished my 2nd book!”
That was the moment my inner critic struck and messed things up. And that moment is when the previous joyful statement turns into something like, “yeah, but look what a mess you’ve made. Story sucks, plots sucks more, characterisation sucks even more, overall product sucks the most.” And then the unwillingness to continue comes along. From writing 3.5k words a day, I go down to 1.5 and writing becomes a chore.
I really, REALLY hate that inner critic. It takes all the fun away. I blame my perfectionism that sometimes runs in my veins, especially when it comes to writing.
In liue of that, I figured I might give you my take on what I do to battle these defeatist feelings, though be warned, I have yet to achieve a victory against them.
1. It’s a first draft, therefore accept it as it is. I’ve often said to some of you who follow this blog and we have developed a more direct form of communication, not to worry about a work being sucky or below expectations simply because first drafts are supposed to be that way; sucky, full of mistakes, full of plot holes, full of everything that could make you throw your computer out the window (or typewriter).
And yet I fail to adhere to this rule. Go figure. It’s still a solid advice, it’s just that my brain fails to remember it when it needs it the most. Kinda like those drivers who shield their eyes when they’re about to be part of a minor accident instead of watching where they’re going and controlling the car, even though their instructors have told them exactly not to do that.
2. It’s good to be strict with your own self-imposed deadlines, but the world won’t end if you stretch them by a few days (yes, I’m talking to you, Chris Sarantopoulos). I have very little doubt that I will be able to finish my WIP (Through Stranger Eyes is the current title, if anyone is wondering) before I start querying my previous book. Especially if I just focus and write 3k words a day. I may stretch my deadline by a couple of days, but it can be done. The thing is, I feel like I’ve exhausted all my fuel, plus the backup fuel I had stored somewhere, and some more I stole from those around me. I’m on fumes here. Bottom line is, as I said in my previous post, sometimes it’s easy to reach your daily quota, sometimes words simply refuse to come. Accept it. That’s the life of a writer, even when it comes to the big names.
3. Don’t panic, revision will save you. Consider revision as a loving and caring mother. We all mess things up from time to time (some of us more than others), but mom is always there to not just chastise us, but also show us the right way. That’s kind of what revision does for you. Even if the new plot line you made up, despite what you had planned and outlined, clashes with every other plot line, relax. You’ll get it fixed a couple of months after you finish your work, after you’ve hid the MS and let it mature. It may take you some more time to patch things up, but it’s okay. Just keep repeating “revision will make things right.” And yes, I’m talking to you again, Chris Sarantopoulos.
4. Trust your ideas. We write fiction because we have ideas to test, and strange worlds and situation to experience. Some will work better than others, some will be utter crap. If you’ve written the latter, look at points 1 and 3. Repeat as often as necessary. Chances are those ideas will spark something. Perhaps a better tangent for your story or a new story altogether.
5. Resist the urge to start another project because “this one is too hard/you suck/you are inexperienced for its complexity yet, etc.” Just put the words down. One word at a time. Neil Gaiman said that. You can’t argue with one of the masters. You can’t revise or improve on something that isn’t there. Let that inner critic shout all he/she wants. If you start an awful lot of projects without finishing any one of them, say because you’re not ready for that project yet, when will you be ready for it? Will you ever be?
Oh well, that’s all for now. Damn you inner critic.
Despite several non stop attempts from the powers that be, I have managed to stay productive. Wait, no. Wrong. I’ve actually managed to be overproductive. For the past few weeks I’ve been able to write up to 3500 words per day, though my average is about 3000. Now, it may not be much for some of you, but it is for me. My usual word quota is anywhere between 1500 and 2000, so every time I reach or exceed 3500 words, I am elated. I don’t know if other writers are like me, but I like to enjoy little things like that, because sometimes – and I think we can all agree on that – despite all our efforts, words don’t come easy. Some days are good, some are terrible, and some are so awesome that you want to do a victory dance.
Yeah, like that.
Fingers crossed, I’ll be able to keep it up and finish the entire project either by the end of this month, or at the latest, within the first week of June. Assuming of course, that those powers leave me alone.
